Out of body

Ever have one of those days where you just feel like sleeping for the next couple years to avoid life? I hate that and the fact that this happens on a regular occurrence. My life isn't anything exciting even though I try to make it exciting. Theyres just simply nothing there.
Blah. Today is not my day at all. I've done nothing but sleep and carve some new scars into my wrist which I need to stop doing but it's so damn hard. I know it's not healthy and it's not normal but it makes things feel okay for a little bit.
I'm jealous when I hear of other cutters getting away with doing it when I get threats that I have to go back to the hospital.

"You can't understand a scar when you've never been cut."

It's hard to explain self harm to some people. My parents more specifically.
So I guess I can try to stop but the urge will ALWAYS be there.

In a lighter note, Christmas is coming and though normally holidays overwhelm me to the high hell, I'm pushing through this one. Last year my anxiety ruined it and that is NOT happening this year.
Are you guys excited about Christmas? What's your FAVORITE thing to do?

Till next time,
Love xx